Kim Priore

Well boys and girls, I’ve been quite the world traveler lately, or at the very least, the East-coast traveler.  I don’t dare go much farther since a certain one-handed wonder who shall remain nameless is currently in possession of my St. Christopher’s medal, so it really wouldn’t be prudent.  On Thursday and Friday I was in sunny Florida…I’m guessing it was sunny, I was inside the hotel the whole time so it’s kinda hard to say.  I went there on business for one of my many jobs.  This is the one where I do research for the Bible Agencies.  That’s right, Kim in Florida, holed up in meetings for 2 days with CEOs of Bible Agencies.  What could possible go wrong?  Heh.  Well despite the multitude of possible answers to that question, I am proud to say that I was very well-behaved, and kept my liberal academic Ivy-league elitist mouth shut.  I know, right!  First time for everything.  I had to leave in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday, got to the airport in plenty of time, only to discover a mile-long security line.  At 6a.m.?  Seriously?  Ok, live and learn.  I still had plenty of time though and then….that’s right, you always knew I looked like a terrorist:  I got singled out for the pat-down (good morning!) and then they went thru my bag with a fine tooth comb.  Now I had done my homework and everything, or so I thought, I had nothing over 3 ounces and had it in a clear ziplock bag, but APPARENTLY I didn’t read closely enough, because you’re only allowed to have like 5 things.  I had like, 15.  So some poor long-suffering security guard had to stand there while I nearly cried trying to choose between like my MAC makeup and my Origins skincare stuff.  I mean could you choose between your kids?  Honestly.  I was like, I’m sorry, I know I’m being such a girl right now.  And he was like, oh that’s ok.  It’s just that this stuff is so expensive!  So by the time I was done with my reenactment of Sophie’s Choice, I had only 15 minutes till the flight left, i.e. 5 minutes till they close the door.  So this is where Kim, dancer/cheerleader extraordinaire, who NEVER runs if she can help it, breaks into an all-out sprint for the plane.  Prior to this I had been looking quite the consummate professional, in my nice purple linen Banana Republic pants and my freshly ironed and starched blouse.  By the time I arrived at the plane, I was a sweaty mess.  Lovely.

So it must have been during that time, i.e. when we moved from Sophie’s Choice to Chariots of Fire, that I ripped said linen pants.  I didn’t realize this until AFTER I had arrived at the Ft. Lauderdale airport, stopped off at the restroom, stopped in the gift shop and bought replacement toiletries for the ones I had to toss aside back in Boston, and was heading for the van with my driver.  THIS is when I realize that the hem of my pants, which before had maybe an inch-high slit on the side, was now split halfway up my leg.  Freken A.  I’m long past anywhere I can stop and buy a sewing kit.  So I get to the place I’m staying, which is a conference center run by one of the Bible Agencies, very nice but doesn’t have everything (like, for example, a sewing kit) that a normal hotel would have.  I even asked the cleaning crew, I was like, el safety-o pin-o?  No?  Gracias.  I’m like crap I am so screwed.  But THEN, I have the brilliant idea, aha!  I could staple it!  So I go down to the front desk, and I’m all, uhhh do you have a stapler I could borrow?  And the lady’s very nice, she’s all, here you go, and then I say, now, please ignore what I am about to do, and I disappear from her view, bend over, and staple my linen pants shut.  That’s right folks, a product of Wellesley and Harvard, roughly $150K worth of education stuffed inside this skull and counting, and she’s got staples holding her pants together.  Awesome.

So other than that, the Florida trip was a success and I met some cool people and got to spend some quality time with EM, so that’s always fun!  This weekend I headed up to North Woodstock, New Hampshire for the Annual Priore Family Columbus Day Weekend Leaf-Peeping Extravaganza ™.  Now new and improved, featuring Goedharts and VanderArks and Giffords, oh my!  I had lots of fun playing with the godsons and drinking beer around the campfire and staring at the foliage.  And eating.  Lots of eating.  I think I gained like 20 pounds this weekend.  But at least if I split my pants I’ll know what to do.